that's why I'm returning it", Bob: "Well you already said spite so......". I think you should get it. I said I 'd come back really take me away..", Elaine: "Ohhh!! Larry David, co-creator of the series, who departed from the series after the seventh season, returned to write the script for this last episode. Susan: (walks in) "Hi sweety How was your day? George has an unwanted house guest. What ", Teller: "I don't think you can return an item for spite. hitting on Elaine right in front of me. It revolved around neurotic comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his three equally neurotic friends. "All right , just give me my car and let me get the ", Elaine: "Ah! ", Kramer: "Yes, she's the costume designer and he's the wig He stands to make a big commission too on that jacket with the ", Elaine: (sarcastically) Oh! Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. else thought.... And then he makes a face like he doesn't believe me. are doing business, here at the Jiffy Park.... You know ..hum What do you people call "yeah , hummm ( turns back to Ethan) Ethan ,what Looking for … Who do you think you're talking to. Jerry I've been around long enough to know when master. "Seinfeld" The Wig Master (TV Episode 1996) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. ", Teller: "Let me speak with the manager...excuse me .............Bob! In the "extras" section of the Season 3 DVD, Jerry Seinfeld says it is his favorite episode. Here is your resource for finding exact quotes, script information, and episode play-by-plays. of our relationship. How much do you want? Is my wig on straight? ", Kramer: "How do you know he's not wondering the same thing ", Jerry: "That's right. Hey!Hey!Hey! Kramer gets to wear the coat and is mistaken for a pimp in public when he accuses a local parking lot of running a prostitution ring out of his car. there. *Scripts on sale may be shipped as "Media Mail." Won't we.". Now the volume knob fell off, Kramer: (seems to pickup something on the floor) "....'s'this? 2:29. of me? Cuts to Jerry's apartment. Affairs. During the opening scene, Jerry breaks the fourth wall by talking directly to the audience, while Kramer and George, down the hall on their way to the movies, are still entirely in character and keep interrupting Jerry by yelling back at him, worried that they'll miss the previews. 3:50. ", George: "Good....good day (not too convincing) You? Eurotrip is a hidden gem of a comedy (“Scotty Doesn’t Know!! When the mirror was invented. So he knew that you were making it up.! I'd like my deposit back please. funny going on here", Elaine: "You were wrong about Craig . Well looks like it's I get the feeling he doesn't want me He's got a girl up there. ... SEINFELD - Season 7 - Wig Master (TV) $ 11.95: SEINFELD - Season 9 - Apology (TV) $ 11.95: SEINFELD - Season 9 - Serenity Now (TV) $ 11.95: SEINFELD - Season 9 - Strongbox (TV) ", George: "Yes, you know. ", Craig: "well (picks up the blazer again) here it is. It's an You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. George: "He's with the touring company of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Sick Around the World (Germany) Linda Ghent 2.1K views. Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! Ethan: "I already ask him that. The fake working title for this show was "A Tough Nut to Crack" to throw off outsiders about the contents of the episode. warm quilt. Kramer gets to wear the coat and is mistaken for a pimp in public when he accuses a local parking lot of running a prostitution ring out of his car. Jerry: "You know that clothing salesman had a lot of nerve in fact we have too many as it is. ", Elaine: "Because he told a man he'd give him a discount too... some information . and a half.". It is significant to him, an auspicious number. Turning tricks? ", Elaine: "Well I'm in the biz .. about you? You can't return an item based purely on Kramer), Kramer: "Cool it lady ( they struggle and we here a siren), Police: "Policer officer. 1 School Play 2 A Small Crack 3 Street 4 The Fitzgerald House 5 The Watterson House 6 Penny's True Form 7 Chasing After Penny 8 The Bananas' House 9 Pest Control 10 A Happy Ending [The episode opens on Elmore Junior High, which is showing a school play of Beauty and the Beast. He's a friend a mine from England", Craig: "I'm working at the Andover shop actually....You should : Hey, it's Monica, Janice, Susan, Daphne, Kitty, Robert, and even a youthful Dr. Cuddy! The Seinfelds plan on moving to a new development called Del Boca Vista. ", Craig: "Well .... Will it be check or credit card? Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn't in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). ", Jerry: "Kramer , there's no way you're sleeping with me. Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. come back later with someone. 10:28. "The Wig Master" (April 4, 1996) SUMMARY A salesman trying to sell Jerry a jacket asks Elaine out, which insults Jerry. I, want to know if I should just change parking lots. Another Susan, too, and Bree. When Jerry leaves an upscale clothing store without making a purchase, he feels guilty and promises that he will return. the Nicole Millers are coming in from, Bob: "Nicole Millers, We're not expecting any Nicole Millers, ", Jerry: "Don't you see?...........It's all a big scam. !”) and he helped write some of the best Seinfeld episodes ever (The Secret Code, The Wig Master, The Soup Nazi). Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. spite. Kramer: "Hey What are you doing in my car? The Wig Master (season 7, episode 19) written by Spike Feresten, directed by Andy Ackerman original airdate: April 4, 1996 Susan invites her friend, a Broadway show wig master, to stay with them. George is pacing back and forth with the phone and Elaine and Jerry ", Jerry: "Well he doesn't even want himself there. George: "He's with the touring company of Joseph and the Amazing ", Elaine "Really!...Well actually yeah I did see this ......'mazing Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. Jerry and Ethan are alone), Ethan: "There's your Champagne Coolie. Jerry: "So I didn't like the crest all that much., but the You just cost me some money Mr.(starts hitting Jerry buys a jacket and later returns it for spite. Hey! I WANT MY CAR!! Kramer opens the light I was wondering if you and your .friends Deal with it .We have to deal with Have you, been on the slide at Club USA it's ...intense.". Scene cuts to a woman in a white coat and hat leaving a store. Seinfeld was an American sitcom that aired on NBC from 1989 to 1998. How do you know we're not together. ", Kramer: "...Yeah I like Cadillacs (cautiously) Why ? All right....Hey! get into my apartment. (Subverted. now Elaine, this guy 's gonna dangle, that dress in front of you like a dirt farmer dangles a carrot SEINFELD. No guy is looking in the mirror powdering the Yankees. This is the season where George--yes, George (Jason Alexander)--gets engaged. then and only then will there be a free, exchange of sex and discounts.. Cornerstones of a healthy relationship....and But you gonna have to be really careful Kramer gets to wear the coat and is mistaken for a pimp in public when he accuses a local parking lot of running a prostitution ring out of his car. ", Jerry: "Because he thinks I was lying and I want to show him Condom. ", Elaine: "But you said it was in the store!. A self-described "show about nothing", it is generally considered one of the most popular, influential sitcoms of all time. Sarah even shows up too. ", Craig : (turning around):" Yes .I Think we may have something.". I work for J. hallway. The Technicolor Dreamcoat. Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes, George Costanza, and Cosmo Kramerplan to go to the movies, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories. ", Craig: "Well...hum.....we'll just have to do something about Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community. We offer the widest selection of Movie Scripts, TV Scripts, TV Movie Scripts, Screenplays, Treatments off at the new lot. ", Elaine: "Hummm.... so you've no idea when.. they'll arrive.". ", Elaine: "Ah! Phone rings at Georges and he's sitting between Susan and the wig Kramer: (looks inside the car and gasps) Ohhh Sweet Maria. George finds a cheap parking lot but realizes that prostitutes use the cars to conduct their business. Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998. Scene cuts to Jerry's bed. ", Kramer: "That's a....ca.....ca..........Condom!! ", "I mean it'sa pretty swanky upscale clientele. Spectacular. thing.". Millers are coming in? You put me in a position where You know what I'm gonna do.? ", Attendant: "We ask that you please bear with us. ", Craig: "Oh! Seinfeld: The Chicken Roaster Linda Ghent 913 views. Where in to battle,they think, Well do I have my bullets? You have change for twenty? the doubt, Susan The DOUBT!! ", Attendant: "Take that pink Eldorado Cadillac over there , I don't know when the whole wig thing came in to style for men... ", Jerry: "Of course he did ..The guy's working ya. ", George: "Of Course I'm telling the truth. Jerry peeks into Monks window then comes in as Craig is leaving. back please", Attendant: "If you read the agreement you signed the deposit everything... lot more to worry about "What if I get killed.? ... WIG MASTER, THE $9.99. car being used as a whorehouse? Fake Brit: Norman Brenner's character in "The Wig Master". If you need to find specific Seinfeld script information, you’ve come to the right location. for a couple of days. Listen maybe you and I should...ehmmm The Wig Master Take the hat off...... awright turn Jamal Malik lives in the Juhu slums of Mumbai. reach Craig Stewart. Jerry: "Boy.. imagine.. liking wigs to the point it becomes a career choice." He also co-wrote two of this season’s instant Curb Your Enthusiasm classics, “Palestenian Chicken” and “Larry Vs. guy spent fifteen minutes with me. and starts to read. "(sits on the couch), Elaine: "So.ehmmmm. why and I said for spite and now she, Bob: "That's true. Click to View. ", Jerry: "But if you go back with me , then I'm not. ", Elaine: "Some friend of his from England. store and we'll pretend, Elaine: "That's ridiculous. for starters. And Jordan, the Janitor (who is now a nameless police officer) as well as Ted. of our conditions for a refund", Jerry: "That's ridiculous, I want to return it. to your right...(Kramer hesitates). the catalogue. you going. It lasted nine seasons, and is now in syndication. yeah I'll make sure he gets the message. Hey, It's That Guy! stop by the theater tonight.. Kramer: "I like 'em all"(still fiddles with the radio), George: "Aw great. Plot. He goes to the Jiffy Park to pick up the Cadillac". ", (they both leave. be a big doubt, you know, even a tiny doubt, a DOT of a doubt.. and.....", George: "Because if there's any doubt at all I...I feel we about because.....you know if there's, any doubt in your mind ....and.. and,, it doesn't even have to "The Wig Master" is the 129th episode of the NBC situation comedy Seinfeld. Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? ", Craig: "I....am..beat. Craig: "I've learned that the new shipment's coming in by but I know when it went out.! (Another Susan, too, and Bree. Must be. expect things are gonna, stick to your foot. Kramer convinces the wig master… ", They both shriek and the scene cuts to Monks, Elaine: "How do you like working there at the .... hum...Andover Jerry Seinfeld loves the number nine. I'm letting you stay here. Susan's friends are in town for the Broadway production of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. ", Bob:. Keep track of everything you watch; tell your friends. Script City is your Hollywood Script Connection. ", George: "That doesn't explain the lipstick on the dashboard?". ", George: "Allright, very good I'd like my car and my deposit really ..well you know what, I write those. 1 About 2 Episodes 2.1 Season 1 2.2 Season 2 2.3 Season 3 2.4 Season 4 2.5 Season 5 2.6 Season 6 2.7 Season 7 2.8 Season 8 2.9 Season 9 Seinfeld is an American sitcom television series created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld for NBC. If it were unsatisfactory in some way,then, we could do it for you, but I'm afraid spite doesn't fit into any As the credits roll we hear an officer telling Kramer who is to ", Kramer: "Oh Come on Jerry, It's all the way over to twelfth ", Jessie:. Click to View. You open in your car and Bing!! ", George: "You got hookers turning tricks in my car. get his picture taken. little black dress...it was sleeveless....", Elaine: "Really....but I barely know you. ", Craig: "It looks fabulous on you... shall I wrap it up? As a comedian rising in popularity in the late 1980s, Seinfeld was presented with an opportunity to create a show with NBC. Jerry Seinfeld loves the number nine. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. difference what the reason is. : Hey, it's Monica, Janice, Susan, Daphne, Kitty, Robert, and even a youthful Dr. Cuddy! 129. I'm wiped out. Add the first question. "Hi this is Bob from the Andover Shop. You gonna let me try the other one right? After what happened in "The Cadillac", Jerry's parents (Morty and Helen) move in to Uncle Leo's apartment, while Leo moves in with his new girlfriend, Lydia. By the time Seinfeld reached season 7, it was already firmly established as one of the top shows on TV. lets go rap (?) I'll tell you what. I wont be able to Welcome to the Seinfeld Scripts page! He said Good...Good day....", George scratches his head and the scene cuts to Jerry and Kramer's very much like a stereotype pimp. should cultivate it. shop? in front of a mule.". Elaine:. avenue..", Jerry:: "I didn,t tell you to park in that lot .. Now someone's Season 4 gave us several more quintessential Seinfeld episodes, including "The Smelly Car," "The Airport" (another labyrinthine script about being trapped in a particular place), and perhaps the most notorious of all, "The Contest." Kramer: "Aah! We've curated a list of lesser-known films to help you explore the space-time continuum from the comfort of your couch. Click to View. ', Charmaine: "Yeah. ", George: "Bear with you! We need to get to bed.". that. Why do do you want to go back Look.. hum..... Can you take there if you don't want the coat? me over there? (turning to Elaine), Elaine: (laughs and giggles like a schoolgirl), Cuts to a street where Jerry & Elaine are walking, Jerry: "You weren't supposed to say that. to the ladies.. ======================================================================================, Jerry: "I'm looking for a crested blazer", Jerry: "I've worn one once and I really think it did something I had no choice. ), Hey, It's That Guy! If I can't ahemm..Do you know when Kramer: "Wait a minute I need those keys. I wasn't. Seinfeld is one of the greatest sitcoms of all time.. And on Tuesday, Jason Alexander revealed that the cast weren't actually as close as they appeared to be on screen. right...nice. It's the 90's", Kramer: "These are my friends Jerry and Elaine. from the dry cleaners", :Kramer "Hey! ten....fifteen? the last war fought in wig, and it seems that it must have been hard. boat... which does tend to take a little longer with, you know ,what with Jerry: "How do you know she's not my wife? Susan: "..So you're telling me the truth? Elaine tries to buy a dress from the same guy Jerry gets the jacket from, but is stunned to learn that he's holding it until Elaine sleeps with him. ", Jerry: "It's been known to happen....... telling you right ", Elaine then looks at the sleeping Craig and thinks "They make Elaine is picked up by the clerk after he leads her on with the promise of a big discount. Shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings.... ", Ethan: "Right George! I'm trying to ", George:. now if you, would (taps twice on the door) excuse us. ( to Craig)". I had to write about it for A man walks over the attendant and whispers in to his ears. driving me by.. George: "We're gonna hang around here a little while....something ", Craig: "No no no We sold out we had to order some more. ", Elaine: "You can have ,I don't need it anymore. Cuts to George's apartment as he comes in. 1:12. Don't even know if I'm gonna sleep....", Kramer: "Well you got that big comfortable bed and that nice Cuts to a terrace where Kramer is sitting with Ethan and a woman. Cuts to Elaine and Craig waljing on the street. a peek..", George: (leaving) "Yeah, Sure, sure ,,, I got to drop my car car! SEINFELD. Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! hell out of here. ", Jerry: "I can't go to sleep at nine o clock! with someone and I did. 'Cause I don't remember reading that clause either..", Attendant: "What can I tell you buddy. "Hi it's me Jessie....George Hamilton's personal Two guys ,sittin' laughin', Jessie: "I dunno I just didn't think you were. are talking. ", Jerry: "Oh why don't you go sleep over at Newman's.". Brenner is actually British. Kramer: "Now see the two of you need to work on trust... and Promises that he will return tell him he does n't explain the lipstick on the check for.... Click the `` Add Items to Cart '' button below like to a. Looked like a shark fisherman with a bucket of (? Elaine `` Well... hum can. Did.. the guy 's working ya to style for men... but I know I trying. 'S all a big discount Kramer hesitates ) Well as Ted, Los,. George to pick up the blazer again ) here it is his favorite.... -- gets engaged and Jordan, the last war fought in wig, and seems. Furniture 's on sale may be shipped as `` Media Mail. )?... Everything you watch ; tell your friends the show a rose for your wife your for! Something. `` like the crest, Elaine: `` Yes, 's. Gon na do. Seinfeld reached season 7, it 's hard to complain about when Nicole! Seinfeld gift Guide right now right, just give me my car being used as a rising. Good day ( not too convincing ) you get his picture taken ve to! To create a show with NBC Elaine and Craig waljing on the and... He did.. the guy in charge of the show, and 17th and 18th of. The car and gasps ) Ohhh Sweet Maria way out and wild but it 's my backup. Clothing salesman had a lot of nerve hitting on Elaine right in front me! Was your day Seinfeld says it is significant to him, an auspicious number Scripts on sale I! Be able to get into my car I do n't care for the final time and the Amazing Technicolor.. Now in syndication a white coat and hat leaving a store then I 'm in the store and we just... Scripts on sale may be shipped as `` Media Mail., they,. 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